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So Wags the World Away

By Kelly

Friday evenings in Kingsport were generally a time that most Redmond College students put down the books and forgot their studies to enjoy the companionship of friends and association with the co-eds. Gilbert Blythe talked of joining the girls at Patty’s Place. This was a regular plan for such Fridays. For the past several weeks Charlie Sloane had declined spending his evening with residents of the said place. He had varying excuses from needing to study to having other plans. Gilbert knew Charlie was not one to study when other activities called. Something was not right. This had been going on since sometime in the middle of the previous year. Gilbert had not thought much about it at the time thinking that Charlie really needed to study as most students buckled down after the Christmas break. But, now they were just beginning the next year. Even the best of students took their studies a little more light heartedly. Adding to the mystery the former had notice earlier in the week that Charlie appeared somewhat standoffish toward Anne Shirley. No, that would be putting it lightly. Charlie was down right icy toward Miss Shirley.

Gilbert had spent considerable time trying to solve the mystery behind this attitude change in Charlie. “What is up with you and Anne Shirley?” Gilbert finally comes out and just asks.

“I have nothing to say about that high and mighty red-head,” Charlie says almost too nonchalantly.

Gilbert looked sharply at Charlie. Something was definitely not right. “What did she do to deserve such comments?” He asked. He did not like having his favorite co-ed spoken of in such manner. The ensuing discussion brought to light a marriage proposal from Charlie and subsequent rejection from Anne.

“What did you expect?” Gilbert prodded. “What did she ever do to encourage such affection?”

“Listen, Gilbert, you think you know so much about how Miss Shirley thinks, but I will venture to say that she is likely to break your heart just as much as she did mine.” Charlie said very adamantly and nothing would have pleased him more.

By Christmas break Gilbert had come to realize that he could not pretend that Anne’s friendship was all that mattered. Since his conversation with Charlie he could not put on the ‘great chum’ façade any longer. He found his true feelings rising up to claim their rightful place on his sleeve.

Avonlea was in the grip of one of the worst snow storms in memory. Most of the roads were so covered in snow, with more snow being added daily, that people just stayed home. Gilbert, however, took the opportunity to spend some time with Anne, who would otherwise be off at something or other. Since the trek from Blythe Farm to Green Gables was a short distance he could manage to get to Green Gables most evenings. He found the visits to be most pleasing due, in part, to the noticeable absence of all other Green Gables folks upon his arrival. He had Anne all to himself.

Gilbert and Anne talked as they always did—of school, ambitions, and other enlightening subjects. Every now and then a joke would pepper their conversation. On several occasions, he considered speaking to her of his dreams. This was usually brought to mind when he stopped to think about the lovely red-head who was telling him something humorous that had happened at Patty’s Place or how splendid her literature class was now that they were going to be dissecting a particular book upon their return to class after the break.

He found, at such times, that he could not keep his eyes off her—to drink in her creamy white skin, her bedazzling eyes, and her silky red hair. Perfection could not compete with the vision before his eyes. She was everything he ever wanted. The ‘truth be known’ he was smitten.

He was so entranced by her that he let the conversation fall. Anne would look up to discover the intensity of his eyes—to which she would quickly look away and blush. Such blushes were generally understood to be ‘maidenly evasions’ as any proper young lady would not want to appear bold.

Gilbert knew from past experience that any and all attempts at such sentiment toward Anne were often rewarded with something short of a snub. Perhaps things were different now. Had she come to see him as more than a mere childhood pal? He knew the risks and weighed them with great care. Christmas break came and went before Gilbert had a chance to speak his heart’s desire—to share with her the delight of his soul.

As they returned to Redmond and hunkered down to their studies Gilbert could not get Anne to himself. He found it difficult, if not impossible, to talk to her about anything beyond the usual subjects. The only time they went anywhere together they were joined by another couple and these occasions were rare indeed. Anne was always ‘too busy’ to attend many of the social functions—although she frequently participated in the comings and goings of Patty’s Place.

Gilbert’s frustration with Anne’s apparent evasion grew until one day in early spring. He knew he would need the assistance of someone in Anne’s inner circle—possibly a room mate. He decided to talk to Phil Gordon about his problem. All he needed was a little time with Anne. Phil promised she would see what could be done.

Phil let Gilbert know when Anne was planning to spend the evening home at Patty’s Place. She told him she would stay in that evening as well to make sure Anne didn’t change her plans and make an escape. She also knew that the other girls of Patty’s Place had outside activities that particular Friday evening. Phil would also try to make sure Anne would be the one to get the door upon his arrival. Phil would use some excuse to be in the kitchen at the time—that wouldn’t be too difficult since she liked to get an occasional evening snack.

Gilbert spent the afternoon pacing his room. What would he say? How would he say it? What should he wear? He was so distracted that he completely forgot to add flowers to the mix.

When he arrived at Patty’s Place that evening it was Phil who came to the door. “Where is Anne?” Gilbert asked with a nervous look. Phil answered that she had gone into the kitchen for a piece of pie while Anne sat reading Dickens. “When I came from the kitchen I found her book lying on the seat where she had been reading.” Phil explained. “She probably went out to the orchard. That is one of her favorite places to relax. You know she gets carried away with spring.”

He sauntered to the orchard and, remembering that he had forgot to bring some flowers, found some pale sweet arbutus in a hidden corner. The Gilbert who found Anne in the orchard that evening was an entirely different Gilbert than when he left the orchard some time later. The former was full of hopes and dreams. He was one who could conquer any and all challenges before him. The latter came away from the orchard with a very heavy heart.

“Charlie was right,” thought Gilbert remembering what his friend had said about Anne breaking his heart. “I should have seen this coming. I am nothing but a mere chum.” Anne had never given him much encouragement beyond the bond of friendship. He had been so blind. His love for her had covered his eyes and now he must face a starch reality and some how go on. “We must, we must go on being friends,” she had said. “Oh, Anne,” he thought. “I cannot do that. I ask for her love and am told I can never have that. Well, she shall not have my friendship!”

It had come to this. All his ambitions, hopes—all of them—gone. The harbor road he walked along with shoulders and head hung low was muddy from patches of dingy snow left over from winter. A young couple driving in a buggy along the road splashed mud on him as they passed. Their laughter and gaiety seemed to sneer at him. He could not bring himself to return to his room. Charlie would be there and he knew what Charlie would say.

Adding insult to injury the clouds that hung above Kingsport began to let go their load. The rain began to fall. Gilbert, wearing a light jacket, was ill prepared for the chill that followed. Yet, he continued walking to who knows where. He passed the road to his boarding house without a single thought and continued walking without seeing. His feet carried him along and presently found himself down by the harbor. He located a bench along side the dock house and sat with his head in his hands for a time as the rain fell unrelenting. Nothing mattered. He would not have cared if he caught pneumonia and died.

But Gilbert was not to be so blessed. He would not get as much as a sneeze. After a while he managed to get himself back to his room where he lay on his bed rehashing the words of Anne. “I can never—ever love you in that way. You are never to speak of this to me again.” He heard those words over and over. He tossed and turned and at sunrise was yet wide awake.

For the next few weeks he buried himself and all his cares into his studies. He put all his focus toward them and discovered that he could go on. He spent the summer working in the newspaper office in Kingsport finding a certain comfort in not having to return to Avonlea. His job was so full of activity during the days that he had very little time to dwell on Anne, but his evenings were not easy to abide. He was relieved, however, that Charlie was back in Avonlea. As far as Gilbert knew his friend knew nothing of his rejection from Anne. Gilbert was certain to be the recipient of some ridicule from Charlie for the latter had predicted such heartbreak.

Many an evening he spent wandering the park at the edge of town. He avoided going past Patty’s Place for that brought a good deal of hurt—more than he was willing to bear. But he could not keep away from many of the places that reminded him of Anne. The park along the harbor was one such place. Gilbert seemed to attain a small amount of solace while strolling through its paths. “If ever any great sorrow came to me I would come to the pines for comfort,” Anne had once said as they walked along these same paths.

By the end of summer Gilbert had convinced himself, at least on the surface, that he cared nothing for Anne. She was just another girl—who was smart, witty, charming; and, point for point, the girl of his dreams. Unlike Charlie, who could find plenty of cold-hearted things to say about Anne, Gilbert could not. He could not even blame her for turning him down. He had merely deceived himself. The nearest he came to anger over it was when he withdrew his friendship from her. The line had to be drawn somewhere.

It cannot be told whether that summer flew by or dragged to no end. There was absolutely no recollection of time. Our dejected Gilbert buried his heartbroken feelings so far down inside they took with them all other feelings. Quite honestly, he was numb.

When school started *Gilbert went to Patty’s Place occasionally on Friday evenings. He seemed always in good spirits, and held his own in the jests and repartee that flew about.

He neither sought nor avoided Anne. When circumstances brought them in contact he talked to her pleasantly and courteously, as to any newly-made acquaintance. The old camaraderie was gone entirely.

After Christmas, Christine Stewart entered the scene. Her brother, upon graduating, had asked Gilbert at the start of summer to keep an eye on her. “She will be taking music in the winter and won’t know a soul—and remember—she’s engaged to be married in a couple years so—don’t get any ideas.” His friend had directed. Gilbert had agreed to meet her at the train station one day early in January.

On the appointed day Gilbert dutifully stood on the platform awaiting her train. As the swarms of people, mostly students left the train he noticed a tall stately girl with large dark-blue eyes, ivory outlines and a gloss of darkness on her smooth hair. She seemed to pause as she embarked from the train as if to say, “Here I am. Everyone take note.” From the description Ronald had given he had no doubt this was the girl he was to ‘look after a bit.’ To the average chap Christine was very pretty, nay she was beautiful. If you had asked Gilbert, though, for his opinion her looks would not enter into the equation.

Christine and Gilbert could be seen together at most college functions. He had no interest in taking anyone else, save a particular red-head, and so it fell to taking Christine. At first he escorted her to some events just to help her get to know some people. Then, as the months went by he found her company enjoyable. One night they ended up at a Black church just for the fun of it. They went on picnics and to a Masquerade ball. In all sense of the word they had a great time. Gilbert began to like Christine for herself. There was just something missing about her. It was like the pinch of salt had been left out of her. Beneath it all, however, she was not Anne.

At a reception, which the Juniors were giving for the Seniors, that February, Gilbert could not help but notice a very handsome young man who walked in with Anne on his arm. Her eyes just sparkled with admiration. She donned a very pretty green dress with a slip of cream silk with a chiffon overdress with tiny rosebuds all over the chiffon. She was the envy of all the other girls at Redmond—and the dream of one heart-sick young man.

Her beau, he soon learned was Royal Gardner, looked so confident, so polished, too. By the clothes he wore it was obvious he had money. Gilbert could see he was no match for the likes of this Romeo.

The reception was underway when Christine excused herself for a moment. Gilbert made his way to the refreshments. When he turned around he noticed Anne sitting near the window. “She’s probably thinking about Roy,” he thought. Gilbert wandered over to where she was sitting. “That is a very lovely dress, Anne,” was all he could think to say. The awkwardness of that moment was felt distinctly as she simply smiled and responded to Mr. Gardner’s beckon.

Gilbert spent the next summer working in the newspaper office as he had before. By this time, Charlie had figured out what had happened and soon all of Avonlea knew that Anne had refused Gilbert. Charlie did, in fact, get much satisfaction from this news.

The big event of the summer, however, was the wedding of Diana Barry and Fred Wright. Gilbert had been asked by Fred to be his best man. The latter had asked him over a year ago—before Anne had refused to marry the former. He knew, of course, that Anne was to be the bridesmaid. Gilbert hadn’t put much thought into it until he was standing at the top of the stairs waiting to escort the bridesmaid down to the ceremony below. It was at this point that Anne came along the hall towards him, in her soft, white dress with lilies-of-the-valley in the shining masses of her hair. He suddenly felt his face burn with a warm flush. He spent the entire previous year of school trying not to think about her—the lovely, smart; yes, beautiful dream of his heart. And now she was standing before him—looking as lovely and as beautiful as ever.

They shook hands cordially and proceeded down the stairs with their arms linked. As they entered the room Gilbert noticed an obvious murmur among the guests. “What a nice looking couple they are,” he heard someone whisper. He thought, again, how nice Anne looked. The feel of her hand on his arm—he could just close his eyes and dream of her standing before him in an exquisite white dress, much like Diana’s.

The wedding went off without a hitch and feasting and merry-making followed. Something of Anne and Gilbert’s old comradeship had returned during the informal mirth of the evening. Gilbert told a joke which Anne found to be rather funny. His heart gave quick beat. He continued with the light-hearted mirth as the uneasiness he felt at the top of the stairs wore off.

*As the evening waned, Fred and Diana drove away through the moonlight to their new home, and Gilbert walked with Anne to Green Gables.

The night was so very still that one should have been able to hear the whisper of roses in blossom -- the laughter of daisies – the piping of grasses -- many sweet sounds, all tangled up together. The beauty of moonlight on familiar fields irradiated the world.

"Can't we take a ramble up Lovers' Lane before you go in?" asked Gilbert as they crossed the bridge over the Lake of Shining Waters, in which the moon lay like a great, drowned blossom of gold.

Anne assented readily. Lovers' Lane was a veritable path in a fairyland that night -- a shimmering, mysterious place, full of wizardry in the white-woven enchantment of moonlight. Gilbert almost forgot the pain in his heart as Anne chatted lightly. He wondered, though, if she weren’t thinking of Roy.

*"Are you going to be in Avonlea all summer?" asked Gilbert.

"No. I'm going down east to Valley Road next week. Esther Hawthorne wants me to teach for her through July and August. They have a summer term in that school, and Esther isn't feeling well. So I'm going to substitute for her. In one way I don't mind. Do you know, I'm beginning to feel a little bit like a stranger in Avonlea now? It makes me sorry -- but it's true. It's quite appalling to see the number of children who have shot up into big boys and girls -- really young men and women -- these past two years. Half of my pupils are grown up. It makes me feel awfully old to see them in the places you and I and our mates used to fill."
Anne laughed and sighed.

Gilbert wished they could go back to the days when their friendship was all they could see—to a time when there was no heart-ache. Where was his dream? Had it passed away before him? Could he ever really be happy again?

"`So wags the world away,' " quoted Gilbert practically, and a trifle absently.

* These parts are taken from 'Anne of the Island'.

(This story continues with Gilbert’s Decision by Kelly)

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