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Poetry n Prose


Quotes from the chalkboard
(as they were jotted down)

Page 1

If I know who originated the quote I will specify.

  • Lockjaw wouldn't be so bad if the right people caught it.
  • The most exercise some people get is jumping to conclusions.
  • When it comes to endangered species, how about people who say thank-you.
  • Female conversation usually consists of who, when and wear.
  • A pedestrian is a husband who decides that his family doesn't need two cars.
  • God last name is not Dammit.
  • Talk is cheap because the supply exceeds the demand.
  • It's not a sin to fall down, but to stay down.
  • Table manners must have been invented by people who were never hungry.
  • Before marriage a man yearns for a woman.  After marriage the "Y" is silent.
  • If you think practice makes perfect, the chances are that you never had a child taking music lessons.
  • Neither books nor teacher educates an inattentive student.
  • He who has three teen-age daughters and only one bathroom is truly a dirty old man.
  • God gave every bird his food, but the bird still has to scratch for it.
  • A bore is a man who, when you ask him how he is, tells you.
  • He who throws mud will also get dirty.
  • You never see angels pictured with whiskers.  That's because most men get to heaven by a close shave.
  • Some people think the Sunday church service is a convention: many families send just one delegate.
  • Co-operation determines the rate of progress.
  • When all think alike, no one thinks very much.
  • If you can smile when everything goes wrong, you're either a nitwit or a repairman.
  • A hothead never set the world on fire.
  • Keep your words soft and sweet in case you have to eat them later.
  • Today's music wouldn't be so bad if they replaced the amplifiers with mufflers.
  • A classic is something that everybody wants to have read and nobody wants to read it.
  • There are dozens of rules to success, but none of them work unless you do.
  • How you use today will determine how tomorrow uses you.---Earl Wilson
  • Art hath an enemy called ignorance.
  • A loafer is a person who is trying to make both weekends meet.
  • The best way to save face is to keep the lower half closed.
  • A bikini is a suit used more for hunting than for swimming.
  • Never buy anything with a handle on it.  It means work.
  • Women are meant to be loved not to be understood.
  • An average man is a guy who spends his life trying to prove to everyone he's not.

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