Quotes

Poetry n Prose

Quotes from the chalkboard
(as they were jotted down)

Page 1

If I know who originated the quote I will specify.

Lockjaw wouldn't be so bad if the right people caught it.

The most exercise some people get is jumping to conclusions.

When it comes to endangered species, how about people who say thank-you.

Female conversation usually consists of who, when and wear.

A pedestrian is a husband who decides that his family doesn't need two cars.

God last name is not Dammit.

Talk is cheap because the supply exceeds the demand.

It's not a sin to fall down, but to stay down.

Table manners must have been invented by people who were never hungry.

Before marriage a man yearns for a woman. After marriage the "Y" is silent.

If you think practice makes perfect, the chances are that you never had a child taking music lessons.

Neither books nor teacher educates an inattentive student.

He who has three teen-age daughters and only one bathroom is truly a dirty old man.

God gave every bird his food, but the bird still has to scratch for it.

A bore is a man who, when you ask him how he is, tells you.

He who throws mud will also get dirty.

You never see angels pictured with whiskers. That's because most men get to heaven by a close shave.

Some people think the Sunday church service is a convention: many families send just one delegate.

Co-operation determines the rate of progress.

When all think alike, no one thinks very much.

If you can smile when everything goes wrong, you're either a nitwit or a repairman.

A hothead never set the world on fire.

Keep your words soft and sweet in case you have to eat them later.

Today's music wouldn't be so bad if they replaced the amplifiers with mufflers.

A classic is something that everybody wants to have read and nobody wants to read it.

There are dozens of rules to success, but none of them work unless you do.

How you use today will determine how tomorrow uses you.---Earl Wilson

Art hath an enemy called ignorance.

A loafer is a person who is trying to make both weekends meet.

The best way to save face is to keep the lower half closed.

A bikini is a suit used more for hunting than for swimming.

Never buy anything with a handle on it. It means work.

Women are meant to be loved not to be understood.

An average man is a guy who spends his life trying to prove to everyone he's not.