Poetry n Prose
Quotes from the chalkboard
(as they were jotted down)
If I know who originated the quote I will
- Lockjaw wouldn't be so bad if the
right people caught it.
- The most exercise some people get is
jumping to conclusions.
- When it comes to endangered species,
how about people who say thank-you.
- Female conversation usually consists
of who, when and wear.
- A pedestrian is a husband who decides
that his family doesn't need two cars.
- God last name is not Dammit.
- Talk is cheap because the supply
exceeds the demand.
- It's not a sin to fall down, but to
- Table manners must have been invented
by people who were never hungry.
- Before marriage a man yearns for a
woman. After marriage the "Y" is silent.
- If you think practice makes perfect,
the chances are that you never had a child taking music lessons.
- Neither books nor teacher educates an
- He who has three teen-age daughters
and only one bathroom is truly a dirty old man.
- God gave every bird his food, but the
bird still has to scratch for it.
- A bore is a man who, when you ask him
how he is, tells you.
- He who throws mud will also get dirty.
- You never see angels pictured with
whiskers. That's because most men get to heaven by a close
- Some people think the Sunday church
service is a convention: many families send just one delegate.
- Co-operation determines the rate of
- When all think alike, no one thinks
- If you can smile when everything goes
wrong, you're either a nitwit or a repairman.
- A hothead never set the world on fire.
- Keep your words soft and sweet in case
you have to eat them later.
- Today's music wouldn't be so bad if
they replaced the amplifiers with mufflers.
- A classic is something that everybody
wants to have read and nobody wants to read it.
- There are dozens of rules to success,
but none of them work unless you do.
- How you use today will determine how
tomorrow uses you.---Earl Wilson
- Art hath an enemy called ignorance.
- A loafer is a person who is trying to
make both weekends meet.
- The best way to save face is to keep
the lower half closed.
- A bikini is a suit used more for
hunting than for swimming.
- Never buy anything with a handle on
it. It means work.
- Women are meant to be loved not to be
- An average man is a guy who spends his
life trying to prove to everyone he's not.
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